You know you've played too much Final Fantasy IX when....: When you searching around the net to find a Hentai pics of Garnet. When you and a bunch of your friends sneak into the White House to kidnap the president's daughter, thinking that she was Princess Garnet. When you get in a fight, you try to steal from the other person. When you take a hiking trip in the forest looking for Yans. You throw bottles at your friends and wonder why it doesn't heal them. When you find coins on the floor and demand a reward When you ask your teddy bear if he'll save your game. You go up to short people and say Rally-ho! Your sister turns 16 and you try to extract Eidloins from her. you get a large chicken and try to make it fly. You search for save the queen on e-bay. You walk up to someone and ask them to play Tetra Master. You challenge your friends to a festival hoping that you'll win a date with your crush. You go to the pet store/zoo and ask to see a Chocobo. When you take a look at a map of the Earth and ask yourself, ''say, wasn't Mist Continent supposed to be here?'' You have a friend who always carries around a hammer. you run aroud with wing things on your back, and say "I'm a summoner" You give your dog a extra mouthand say you found cerberus at ipsens castle. You think a elephant is the real queen brane. You saw a monkey tail above your butt and say you are zidane. You mutate to a female rat and call yourself freya. You dress up your brother with a thong ,a dress,and some makeup and call him Kuja. You put your white cat in your dress and call her mog. You tell your mom that you want to take the Hilda Garde 3 to school. You take a picture of Garnet and Zidane to your biology teacher and ask "if these two have kids, will their kids have tails and blond hair?" When you try to rename your girfriend as "dagger". When you feed your white cat nuts and wonder why it continuously chokes! when u meet a little orphan girl who hangs around white cats and ask her to summon eidolons You look for a frog and 3 potions and try to change the frog back to its original form. You go to the Grocery Store and ask where they keep their Potions/Pheonix Downs and etc. You think the monkeys at the zoo are Genomes. You buy a Silver Eypatch and walk around casting Stock Break everywhere. You go to an aircraft show and ask where the Invincible and Hilda Garde 3 are docked. You go walk through the forest and deliberately kill animals to try and level up yourself. When you name your dog Fenrir You walk into a library and ask where dr.tot was You go to the bank and try to exchange your money for gil When you head out into your back yard with a shovel and start lookin for chocographs. You walk into everyone's home and start searching the whole place for potions and items, And they don't mind. After wearing the same outfit for several weeks, you refuse to wear it ever again because you are convinced that it won't teach you new ability. When you ask everyone in the neighborhood, ''where can I find another moonstone?'' Every sentence ends with a Kupo! After a bully beats you up, you wonder why you don't go into Trance mode. You put black make-up on your face to look like Vivi. You start sticking pieces of cloth in the back of your pants, and when your friend asks what it is you say it is a tail. You wear huge collars around your wrists. You try to eat your pet because you think it will teach you a new spell. Same as above, but you try to cook your friend. You go on a shopping spree to look for some blue leather pants. You ask a clerk at the clothing store for something that teaches Fire. You wonder how planes can fly without mist. You take two knives into a shop and ask them to synthesize them into a Theif sword. You think Leonardo De Capario is really Kuja. You want to pull a joke on someone so you try looking for some Ogloops to scare them with. Every time you see a blue light you think it leads to your real home. You think hurricanes are caused by some giant eyeball ship in the sky. You were raised by some guy with whose name starts with the letters QU, has huge tounge,and whophilosophises about food all the time. You tear up your yard by digging. When your father asks why, you tell him that you are searching for a ChocoGraph Piece. You don't kill flowers because you're mortally afraid you'll be petrified. You ask the drama teacher if your school can perform ''I want to be your canary'' You think your car will only run when it's foggy outside. You think rats live in tornadoes When you kill animals at the zoo because you're competing in the Festival of the Hunt. When a bounty hunter tries to kill you, you ask him to be your friend. When you use Zidane's ''lines'' to try and get girls. And then you're surprised when they don't work out. You eat Frogs because you think thier good Run around with a huge fork Wear a blue jacket with a pointy hat Say ''judgement bolt'' wait for a guy with a beard to come Make rusty armor and wear it to school Go whale hunting so you can find the acclaimed ''Whale Whisker'' Make a Black ball and name it Dark Matter Use that Black ball and try to summon Odin Kill you Family and try to use Phonex Find a Big tree and name it the Iifa tree Ask your science teacher where plane Gaia and Terra are You wear a ruby and then steal you freinds rabbit then you try to cast Carbuncle You walk around the house waiting to see if an exclamation point appears above your head. You run around with a dagger trying to steal from people You have a deck of cards and you challenge people on the street to a game. You speak of the days aboard the prima vista. When you turn 16, you run away. You paste a bushy moustache on a c*ckroach/frog and call it Cid. You think Mimi Bobek on the Drew Carey Show is really Queen Brahne in disguise. You go to the mall with three friends and comment on how its bigger then Alexandria. You go to a coin shop and ask if they have any stellazio in their possesion. When walking thru a forest path you try to give the animals a peice of tin When it doesnt work you yell ''Damn it must've wanted a Lapis Lazuli'' You called Nasa and asked them to officially rename the moon Terra. When you walk into someones house and look thru all of their stuff for potions. You throw things that are on fire around and tell people that it's your trance attack. You ask why your white cat doesnt have pink wings You go to sears and ask where they keep the Excaliburs? When your friends ask you, ''what's your favorite radio hit song?'', you answer, ''boss battle theme from FF IX!!'' When you constantly take a look at yourself in the mirror just to check your EXP and abilities. when you research for an ancient tribe that is called the Qu's. You go to Chinatown, tear down all the signs and billboards, cut off each "letter" one by one, and chuck them at your enemies, claiming they have been hit by Grad Lethal You start trying to flee everyone from your town thinking Queen Brahne is going to annihilate it sooner or later. You try to scale the New York city roofs in order to see a broadway play for free. You form a gang called the pluto knights or Tantalus bandits or even dragoon knights. You decide to eat at any place called ALEXANDRIA'S DELI. You buy a skeleton that would normally be for halloween and fight it You go around asking people to give you a fork because you eat a lot of frogs When you stick your tongue out at people,walk around in adress and ask people "You have yummy yummies?" When it rains you run outside yellin': "I find this rain quite pleasant" You take some of your mother's jewelry and try to summon the eidolons with them. When you drama teacher asks for any ideas on which play they should do next you say " I want to be your Canary" When you go to school, you always carry a white cat in your bag so in case you get stuck on something you can pull it out and talk to it. You dress up like zidane and go around stealing from people and hopping that you'll meet a princess who knows how to summon monsters. You take a big stick, go up to your enemy, say "Firaga!" then sing the victory dance and tell him over and over that he has to fall over dead because you hit him with a giant pillar of fire. - Submitted by : Seiken 666 (below) You don't go into the fields coz you think the sheep will cast Comet on you You muck up your mum's new wig and put it on, along with blue make-up and call yourself the Flaming Amarant. You search the world for the Superslick hair gel so all the cats can e-mail each other. You never wear tropical gear because it has no defense. You kill a rat and take the tail to some blue-haired guy, and demand lots of money. You try to sell a mirror for �12000. You wear a pink tiara and say "Confuse", then tell someone to spin around, claiming that they've been confused. You stick feathers to your wellingtons boots and wonder why you don't float. You paint your pet cobra blue and call him Leviathan. When you get a Karate Black Belt, you spit a ball of gravy at your opponent and claim he's been hit by Demi. You go to the toy shops and ask where the Tin Armors/Ninja gears/Orihalcons/Mistro Forks etc. are? You try to use a hammer on a tiny bit of ore, expecting it to turn into a giant suit made out of tin cans. You ask your three brothers to beat up your Dad every time he comes into the room with a mask on his face. You start talking like the ever-annoying Ammarant, saying things like "You call that freindship?" or "Dammed Hypocrite, talking about friendship when your just a selfish loner..." You ask where the blue wings are on your boat. You spray yourself with a pinky perfume and wonder why your wounds don't reheal themselves. You cover your right eye with a chunk of metal, and keep hammering the sides of your toy sword, and call yourself Beatrix. You wear a belt over your eyes and dye your hair red, and call yourself Blank. You take a fork and wellingtons boots into a shop and ask them to make it into German boots. You equip a small rock to you and wonder why you don't get stronger and faster. You lock your mum in the freezer for a week, and release her then call her Shiva. You get someone to build a village on a path that goes over a valley and call it Conde Petie. Submit more...Or you can also post it on the message board forums here. Many thanks to you who submitted all this stuff (LOL) ^^
Invincible eiko, amarant, zidane, freya, quinna, vivi, steiner, and garnet are on the invicible. there are 7 parachutes. some thing goes wrong with the airship. so they all have to bail out.
Freya: i must go and protect burmecia (grabs parachute and jumps out)
now there are 7 passengers and 6 parachutes
eiko: i have to take care of my mogs (grabs parachute and jumps out)
now there are 6 passengers and 5 parachutes
Quinna: me hungry need yummy yummmies!!! (grabs parachute and jumps out)
now there are 5 passenghers and 4 parachutes
zidane: the women of this world need me! (grabs parachute and jumps out)
now there are 4 passengers and 3 parachtes
steiner: i must protect alexandria!! come my queen!! (grabs parachute and jumps out)
now there are 3 passengers and 2 parachutes
garnet: my country still needs to make me some potato salad. and i have to eat everything in the kingdom!!! (grabs parachute and jumps out and the whole ship moves)
now there are 2 passengers and 1 parachute
amarant: vivi, i have lived a good life so you take the last parachute
vivi:v there is no need for that because garnet just grabed my backpack.
Sounds of garnet screaming and then a loud thud as she hits the gound
Lunch Box vivi, zidane, and garnet are all on top of the lindblum castle fixing the destroyed pieces. lunch time rolls around.
vivi opens his lunchbox
vivi: dang!!!! a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!! if i have another peanut butter and jelly sandwich im going to jump off this castle!!
zidane opens his lunchbox
zidane: man!!!!!! a pickle sandwich!!! if i have another pickle sandwich im going to jump off this castle!!
garnet: EWWWWWW!!! an olglop sandwich if i have another olglop sandwich im going to jump off this castle!!!
the next day comes and they open their lunchboxes
vivi: yes!!! a cheese sandwich!! i dont have to jump of this castle!!
zidane: alright!!!!! a ham sandwich!!i dont have to jump of this castle!!
Garnet: OH MY GOD!!!! A OLGLOP SANDWICH!!!!!AHHHHHHH!!(jumps off the castle)
Vivi: you know i feel sorry for her
zidane: i dont. she makes her own sandwiches
FF9 Bloopers Part 2
(Bording the cargo ship) (Dagger starts climbing the ladder, Zidane 'accendentally' touches her butt) Zidane: Oohh... Soft. Dagger:You pervert! (Dagger kicks Zidane off the ladder) Zidane: Ahhhhh!! (Cargo ship takes off) Director: Cut!! What the heck was that Dagger!? Dagger: He touched my butt!! Didn't you see him?! Director: He's SUPPOSED to do that! Read the stinkin' script! (Dagger reads it) Dagger: ...oh... Zidane: (from offstage) I don't mind doing that scene again! Garnet: ...Shut up, Zidane... Submitted by : Celes FF9 Bloopers Part 3
( Vivi and Zidane are talking outside of eiko's house while Eiko listens from the kitchen steps. ) Zidane: .....It all boils down to wether you do or you don't. Here let me show you a age old reitual between male friends. Vivi: Ok. ( Zidane and vivi walk off the stage to the side. Zidane really has to go due to the toilet being cloged and what's in it. He finds this a great time to let it ALL go.) Zidane: What ya gotta do is let yourself go under the stars. ( Zidane unzips his pance and begins to go on the side of the set. Vivi who just happaned to look Zidane's way whispers to him) Vivi ( whispering ) : Um.....what are you doing? Zidane ( whispering) : shhh....don't worry no one will notice. ( Mean while, offstage, Garnet walks by and looks where Vivi and Zidane are and then notices Zidane pissing.) Garnet: Oh my god! Zidane what are you doing? Zip up your pance! Director: CUT! what's going on? ( Eiko runs next to Garnet and then looks at zidane and Garnet covers her eyes.) Eiko: Zidane what's wrong with you? Why are you pissing on the set? That's what bath rooms are for! ( Vivi slowly walks away acting as if he don't know Zidane. Beatrix next walks up and turns away pretending she didn't see anything and walks off.) Zidane: I know but the toilet had a peice of Stiener floaten in it an it smelled really bad...pluse I really had to go. ( stiener walks in ) Stiener: Who said my name? Zidane: Me. Stiener, meaning "poop" in German so in that case a peice of stiener was floaten in the toilet and man was it nasty were you the last one in there? ( Zidane who now finished "going" washes his hands and then rejoins the others) Director: Ok let's do this again and this time, don't piss on my set. Zidane: Ok piss on the set, got it.. Director: NO! I SAID DON'T PISS ON THE SET! ( where do they get these guys?) FF9 Behind the scene By Bonnie Pearson ( Zidane just got done with the scene where he falls asleep after eating with the others at the castle. He goes into his changing room and takes a seat in his chair in front of the mirror) Zidane: Oh man that was hard.... I hope we get done with this soon, I'm getting tired of Stiener and all his crap....I think he's taking this thing a little too seriously * sighs and then a knock is heard at his door * Who is it? Eiko: It's me Eiko can I come in? I have some water for you... Zidane: Sure just make sure and shut the door cause I don't want Kuja to look in here let alone come in. Eiko: Ok. * Eiko walks is closeing the door behind her and trying to remember what Garnet told her to do * Here you are Zidane drink up * she hands the glass of water to Zidane * ( Zidane takes the glass and looks at it, and then to Eiko not sure wether to drink it or not.) Zidane: So what do you want? Who sent you? Eiko: No one. I want you to go out with me... Zidane: Eiko your 6 years old I can't go out with you and besids, I'm married to Beatrix and you know that. Eiko: But....Anyway Garnet wanted me to ask you if you wanted to go out for a beer later. Zidane: Tell her I'll think about it. ( just then Kuja walks in ass dressed up in his metal thong and halter top.) Kuja: Yo whatz up? Zidane: Hey do you know how to read? No gays aloud in this room. Kuja: I'm not gay. Zidane: Oh yes you are, take a look at what your wearing. Not only that but I've seen you flirt with Rusty a lot latley.... * EIko begins to laugh in the back ground * Tell me Kuja, who wears a metal thong and a halter top that is a male in here besides you? I don't Rusty......well, I don't know about Rusty but I know Salamander don't and neither does the director. Kuja: Hey! I didn't choose to wear this as a costume! If I had a choice I would pick something a little less drafty. I mean this metal thong is very cold and not pleasnt to wear. If I had gotten the part as the hero I would have been happier. You always got the best parts like the double for Cecil in FF IV, Locke's double in FF VI, Irvine's double in FF VIII, and the main hero for this one. I always got the worst parts and got hurt the most since I had to be Cefca's double, Goblez's double, what's his face's double for FF VIII, and now this.... Zidane: True I always got the best parts....But still,you look as if you were Fred Lou's boyfriend * he begins to laugh * Kuja: That's not funny....I'm not going to stup down to you level Zidane. Zidane: You don't need to, Your lower already... To be continued...... Submitted by : Bonnie Pearson FF9 Bloopers Part 4 *Zidane is in Dali, looking for the new renamed princess* Garnet:La..La..La..La... *Garnet thinks it's so hot in there, so she takes off her shirt* Zidane:Dagger! *Garnet doesn't hear him* Garnet:La.. La... *Zidane hears her, heads to the Inn window, looks at Garnet, and starts drooling* Director:What the- *Director walks to see what's going on* Garnet:AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! *Garnet slaps them both* Director:Garnet, remember not to do that again! Zidane:Let's do that again... Garnet:Perverted minded people!!! *slaps again and puts on her shirt* Director:Let's move on... *director sighs* (near the end of ffix) Zidane:Bring my beloved Dagger to me!!! *Garnet looks over the balcony, Beatix kicks her and garnet starts falling* Garnet:AAAAHHHHH!!!! *Zidane saves garnet and starts touching her butt* Garnet:***hole!!! *slaps zidane* Director:Medic!!! Check if she's alright!!! Beatrix!!! Beatrix:What? Not my fault she gets to be the princess and I don't! Zidane:Bas**** *vivi walks away and eiko is happy* Eiko:When garnet dies, i'll get Zidane to date me!! *beatrix and zidane have s fight* Director:From the top!!! *Garnet goes back to the balcony* Zidane:Bring my beloved wife, I mean cat, I mean... never mind.... Director:Don't give me that crap! Zidane:Bring my beloved Dagger to me! *garnet climbs onto the balcony* Garnet thinking:Surely everyone will catch me! *she jumps and everyone moves out of the way* Director:What the hell!? MEDIC!!!!! Submitted by Lost Summoner Princess of Love